Saturday, 13 September 2014

Fucking Friday: Because alliteration makes the world a better place.

So technically, it's no longer Friday in the UK, it's been Saturday for three hours and forty minutes at this present time. However, I intended to write this blog entry all day (and it's not tomorrow until I fucking wake up!) and then just forgot and ended up re-watching series one of Scott & Bailey again because I just fucking love that show. As someone on tumblr pointed out, those characters are the Holy Trinity of kick-ass police officers. The episodes never get old, and Gill Murray is one of my favourite characters of pretty much ever.

Anyway, I've been thinking about this song by Sara Bareilles called "Sweet As Whole". It goes like this:

Sometimes I can be perfectly sweet
Got this sugary me stuffed up in my sleeve
And I'll talk of ponies and rainbows and things
And I'm just who you want me to be
But like most creatures down here on the ground
I'm composed of the elements moving around
And I grow and change, and I shift and I switch
And it turns out I'm actually kind of a bitch

But that only happens when I get provoked
By some piece of shit asshole we all sadly know
And I sit and I write while reminding you all
That mean songs are still better than going postal

That guy's an asshole
And that girls's a bitch
Baby it's natural
No getting away from it
So sing it out with me
And then let it go
Fuck that guy he's just an asshole

Sometimes I find that I need to remind myself about all of this, because there are some serious assholes out there, especially on the internet. It's bloody ridiculous. The worst part of it is that they actually manage to troll their way into my head to the point where I feel I have to retaliate, as if it's personal somehow. As if it's personal that some twat on youtube is spewing hatred towards the Disney film Frozen, and thinks it should have been more like the story of The Snow Queen by H. C. Andersen. Like it is personal when some comedian makes a lame sexist joke that only other twats of the same kind will find funny. Like it is personal when some random arse writes an opinion piece stating that he doesn't think people should be allowed to be upset about a farmer shooting a dog in front of his owner just for being on his property. Apparently this is taking animal welfare a bit "too far". These are three of the most substantial annoyances that have flown my way during the past few months.

The hatred towards the movie Frozen is sheer stupidity. This bollocking twat-troll on youtube made a nonsensical comment about how Frozen had ruined her favourite "book" (The Snow Queen) and that she hated it because it was supposed to have been Danish and not Norwegian. First of all, "The Snow Queen" isn't a book, it's a fairytale so ha-bloody-ha but NO, and secondly, it could never have been set in Denmark because at some point during the story they go to Lapland which is up north in either Finland, Sweden or Norway. There are no lapps in Denmark.

Going down the list of this girl's (or shall I say "creature"'s?) complaints, it doesn't get any less moronic. Everything she says is nonsense. She acts as if she knows H. C. Andersen personally, and that she knows for sure that he would have hated Frozen if he were still alive. This is a hilarious assumption for so many reasons, but if you try to explain this to her she'll just continue to argue her bullshit anyway, so why bother? Oh, but I can't help myself.

Shit like this really pisses me off, because it's stupidity. It's ignorance. I cannot handle it for as much as half a second, it's awful. If the people who are criticising Frozen for not being a film adaptation of "The Snow Queen" had bothered to do even the tiniest bit of research they would know that Frozen was only ever going to be based on the H. C. Andersen story. It's such an unnecessary and invalid piece of criticism and it makes me want to track these people down and then follow them around singing "Let It Go" off the top of my lungs. I bet they'd hate that, and I would find that delightful. I could mix it up occasionally by singing it in either Norwegian or German as well. It would be fantastic.

Frozen has a lot of important things to say to people of all ages. It's more than just a fun animation for kids, because it's actually poignant and beautiful in a way that we haven't seen from a Disney movie for quite some time. Ahh well, fuck the people who don't like it. Fuck 'em. They're all just bitches and assholes. But as Sara Bareilles points out in her brilliant lyrics: "I say what I think, cause it's more economic than drugs or a drink." Words to live by, right there. I feel like it is better to get stuff off your chest and then let it go (pun very much intended). Nothing is more annoying than sitting on the toilet thinking about life, as you do, and then having something irritating pop back into your head, because you start to think up ways to respond to the thing you find irritating and then it just becomes more irritating because you're on the toilet so you can't do anything about it at that very moment and you really, really want to. So when something annoys you, get it out of your system. People will tell you that you are wasting your time, but if we all thought like that, I don't think anything would ever get done. For every annoyance that stays unvoiced, ignorance is allowed to breed and spread just a little bit more, and that isn't okay. You shouldn't let the annoyance take over your life, you shouldn't let the "toxins" that Sara Bareilles speaks of in the second verse of her song take up any amount of space in your life, and that is exactly why you should "sing it out" while you can.

So I don't care if it makes me look pathetic - I hate people on the internet. People on the internet are the worst. I know starting an argument with one of them is kind of like killing one ant while a thousand others are biting you, but whatever; if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? So I'm here, I'm online, and I'm ready for whatever piss you are going to throw my way.

And if you don't like random mentions of me sitting on the toilet, just lean back and imagine me flushing it after I've used it, and that is exactly how much your opinion matters to me. Neh, I'm joking. Or not.

Peace out,
A Norwegian Girl in London

Friday, 5 September 2014

Film Friday: If I Stay.

If I Stay is the title of the new teen drama starring Chloƫ Grace Moretz. It is based on a young adult novel with the same title, and it does have a lot of those standard characteristics of a young adult storyline, but at the same time it sets itself apart. Many will draw comparisons to The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent etc., and they may be right in doing so, but but it does not deserve to be discredited entirely just for being similar to something else. It knows its target audience, and it is not trying to fool anyone.

The main character, Mia, is a teenage girl who is an epically nerdy classical musician; she plays cello, listens to Beethoven and has the inside of her locker plastered full of "I heart Yo-Yo Ma" stickers. She dreams of going to Juilliard and has amazingly supportive parents. Then, one fateful morning, her family ends up in a car crash, and Mia wakes up in limbo between life and death, watching the entire tragedy play out in front of her without being able to say or do anything about it. Outside of her own body, she witnesses her own surgery and the aftermath of it, all the while hearing doctors and nurses telling her to fight for her life and that it is all up to her. However, when her parents and her younger brother have all died from the injuries they sustained, she starts losing the will to live. Even as she observes the constant stream of family and friends pouring into the hospital to support her and cheer her on, she still doesn't want to wake up. She doesn't want to face life without her family, so she ultimately decides to take the easy way out by following the light shining towards her from down the hospital hall.

This brings to the surface a lot of interesting and important questions: What makes life worth living? Does YOUR life lose its meaning if someone else's life ends? When life gets hard, do you give up and walk away from it, or do you stick around and face the fight? And is it really the best time for making big decisions like that when you are faced with a personal tragedy? Depression makes you unable to think clearly. It clouds your brain. It makes you act irrationally at times, and this movie shows us just that. Mia's head is clouded by the devastation of losing her family in a horrible accident. She is unable to see past it, and eventually breaks down and wishes for it to "end".

But something stops her just before she is about to step off into eternity: music. It is only when she hears a classical piece of music she really loves that she is pulled back towards life again. The piece of music serves as a reminder of how much life still has to offer, despite everything she has lost. It is enough to send that first tiny spark of hope through her; not enough to take her pain away, but enough to consider facing the battles ahead of her instead of dodging them by walking away. The thought of playing music and making something out of her life gives her a sense of purpose, and it wakes her up - first figuratively, and then literally.

I don't have very much in common with Mia in terms of our life situations, but one thing was very easy to relate to: the overwhelming wish for life to just be over so the pain can finally stop. I have felt this way a stupid amount of times, and I bet a lot of other young people have as well. Therefore, the importance of choosing life, always, becomes the most important message this movie has for its audience, and it is one I hope most people who see this movie will walk away with. Because it is indeed a very valuable message: never give up.

A Norwegian Girl in London